My Story
My childhood was peppered with domestic, drug, emotional, sexual and mental abuse. I survived countless nights of watching my mom endure beatings, can recall multiple parental kidnappings, have experienced homelessness on more than one occasion and could recount stories of the effects of drug abuse for hours. These experiences have given me the ambition I needed to move towards success by living limitless. I refuse to repeat the cycle. With the release of my 7th book, titled Healing Childhood Trauma, so many have been addressing and healing from their childhood trauma. Healing Childhood Trauma has continued to stay on the top 100 amazon audio book chart since publication.
Every night of my childhood was the same story of my parent’s meeting up at a bar, an event that would result in my dad following my mom home, then provoking the fight that would carry on throughout the night. I would spend this time tucked in the corner of a closet, covered with anything I could find to avoid hearing the abuse against my mother. Following soon there after, a kidnapping that I knew was coming would occur. After battering my mom until she could no longer fight back, my dad would discover my location and steal me away yet again. We would then find a place where the police would not find us, and spend the remainder of the night sleeping in his car. Although I was only a second grade child, I vividly remember wondering how a person could allow the repetitive abuse that peppered my mother’s life. At such a young age, I noticed the repetition in the choices that led to that same situation each night.
Eventually my mom did get the courage to leave my dad, but she continued the same cycle of abuse. She entertained many relationships that resulted in physical beatings in the front yard. I remember shoving her in ditches to prevent her from being run over by the abusive men in her life. This continued into the teen years of my life. Not only was I experiencing the physical abuse in my mother’s life, I was also watching as every adult and potential role model in my life abuse every drug you can imagine. It was never out of the ordinary to come home from school and see lines of coke on the table and piles of weed on the counter. Looking back, seeing them as so dependent on this drug gave me a reason to keep as far away from the substances as possible. Their abuse showed me the real results this sort of thing has on a life, and I am thankful to have seen the truth of something so destructive.
As a teenager I was lacking the attention that so many kids need. I had no sense of self worth or self love. To compensate, I turned to alcohol and partying. At the time, it validated me. It made me feel that I was good enough. Little did I know that the repercussions of my decisions were right around the corner. I was sexually assaulted at one point by a male friend and chose to take part in his prosecution, something that was anything but easy in a small town that thrived on the gossip that stemmed from it. Of course, this wasn’t quite enough to wake me up. The reality check I needed came along when I became a mother at the age of 16. (In no relation to the sexual assault) Upon learning I was having a girl, I made the decision that we would not be a statistic. I knew I would have to work hard, but the daunting task did not discourage me. I continue to work hard and ensure that this is our truth every day. It’s important to me that I am always a great role model for my first daughter, as well as her four younger sisters, by living with self respect and determination.
These days, I have ditched the wounded persona and traded it up for the life of a multi-published author and presenter in the field of healing childhood trauma . I use the medium of authorship and speaking to show others that they are not a product of their past. Although we face challenges great and small, I assure you we all have the power to recover and heal but we must start with the wounds from our childhood, freeing ourselves from painful ruts and demolishing all limitations.
Making the choice to take life on in the drivers seat is up to you. It is easy to watch the world pass by while you are being a victim. Being a victim is the easy way out. Removing that personality from your life will give you the opportunity to see the world from a whole new perspective. Each choice you make has an astounding effect of where you are and where you are going in this wonderful journey of life.